Booked as a Martha by Heart

You’ve heard of the phrase “booked and blessed”, or more commonly “booked and busy”? If you’ve spent any time in the theatre community, this is a common phrase. 

We love to be busy! We love being booked.

It’s reassuring, it’s paying the bills, and it’s hopefully a building block to bigger and better projects. 

At the same time though, it’s easy to get consumed on what comes after the contract.

“What am I doing after my contract ends?” Every artist’s worst nightmare is your current project being your last, or worse, “best” project. Your “peaked in high school” moment, if you will. I’ve always been a constant worrier by nature, especially when I was a kid. 

If I was worried a food would upset my stomach (because I am a hot girl with stomach issues), I wouldn’t eat. 

I don’t wake up in the morning? I won’t sleep, easy fix! 

I’ve never done something before? Well, I won’t be doing it because what if it kills me?! 

It sounds ridiculous and extreme, but worry and fear are paralyzing to their core, and can make any irrational choice or thought rational. 

Yet, we serve a God that tells us to focus on Him one day at a time. He’s a God who takes care of every aspect of our lives and doesn’t expect us to have it all together. He gives us purpose and a plan for that purpose. We don’t need the five-year plan because frankly, God’s going to mess it up anyway! And Thank God for His input in “messing up” our plans, because what He has is always better. This is something I’m learning more and more every day. As an actress in Texas on contract, this has been a major struggle. All I can think about is what I’m going to do afterward versus praising God for his provision right here, right now. The majority of my thoughts and regretful prayers are filled with questions like, “What will I do once this gig ends?” “Will I stay in Texas?” “God, where do you want me to go next?” “God, what if you want me to do something else?” “God is this part of your plan?” 

“God, I don’t know what to do next.” 

I chose to include Martha in the title because she’s relatable. I believe as a collective, Martha gets a lot of flack. 

She was a girl boss, but she was also a worrier! She cooked and cleaned in preparation when Jesus and the disciples came and visited her, Mary, and Lazarus. God gave her the gift of hospitality! Although her intentions with her hospitality were based in worrying about the present. Her mind was on the tasks at hand and ahead, so worried about her house being tidy, the food presentable, and probably ten other things on her mind. The girls that get it, get it. I believe she gets painted in a critical light because of the interaction where she asks Jesus for Mary to help her. Jesus gently corrects Martha that Mary’s heart is in the right place. I don’t know where you are in life, but I encourage you if you relate with me, to focus on Jesus’ words. That focusing on Him and abiding in His presence is more satisfying than knowing what the future holds. That at thismoment, this day, the Lord is here and has provided for today, and that is enough. 

That is enough. The Lord will provide the rest in due time.